[ --- MSSR JARLAXLE BAENRE a profile of select events ]
[ --- WHAT IS FORGOTTEN REALMS? your mom ]
[ --- GIMME SOME STATS, HO that's ho action +7, beeatch ]
[ --- HAT YES, BAGELS NO 2E stats, and his wardrobe of eyesore +3 ]
[ --- WHY DOES ARTEMIS HAVE A GIRL'S NAME, THE DAMN SISSY and other Entreri related things ]
[ --- QUOTE ME SOMETHING read the back of a cereal box ]

Mercenary leader and cocksure rogue, Jarlaxle Baenre is the dark elven head of the for-hire brigands known infamously throughout Menzoberranzan as Bregan D'aerthe. (Menzoberranzan being your typical gloriously nasty drow city, and Bregan D'aerthe being your typical noblemen outcasts and rogues in need of a quick fix and a rise up the power ladder. And maybe if they have time, a little game of HEY THERAPY WOULD DO YOU GOOD. ♥)

First impressions lead to the words of lewd, opportunistic, pragmatic and deadly clever; further telling gives way to a wit both quick and sharp, and an honour run strangely warped. (But an honour nonetheless.) Though sacrificed to the Spider Queen as third sons in Menzoberranzan are apt to be, Jarlaxle of the then-first-house of Baenre is nevertheless still kicking around, his survival instincts sharpened to edge.

He was good friends with Zaknafein, a fiercely talented warrior doomed by his sense of frustrated nobility. Enter stage left: Drizzt Do'Urden, son of Zaknafein, for further moral righteousness and a sense of hidden light; he notes that Jarlaxle is not randomly cruel, and does sometimes let the squishy of his heart sway his ever practical mindset. Says Jarlaxle, of he and Zaknafein-- "We both found a way to thrive in a hostile land, in a place we despised but could not find the courage to leave." Zaknafein hatefully slaughtered rival drow in a show of house loyalty; Jarlaxle took to power and intrigue like a lemming to steep cliffs.

Most powerful male in the matriarchal city of drow, Jarlaxle is still a sight to behold: shaved bald in a society where long hair is sign of rank, clad in gaudy bright cloth and trinkets that hide a prepared-for-everything nature. Those rings and things? Not just for the shiny. That huge feather in his most absurd hat? Not just for the pouf. Every little bit is magicked to the core with summons and fiery burning death and power against psychic intrusions. Oh my.

Things happen. Jarlaxle smirks. Cities go all kinds of crazy.

After a nasty little brush with a certain power hungry crystal shard--- and dragons. DRAGONS. ALWAYS DRAGONS-- Jarlaxle is off on a romp with skeevy-in-crime Artemis Entreri, an assassin suffering middle age crisis minus the sports car and buxom blonde. (Cadderly would not approve.) We hope to see them do great things together.

(For more detailed appearance, and basic stats, I direct my esteemed guest to the HAT YES, BAGELS NO and GIMME SOME STATS, HO sections. Charming, I know.)