[ --- MSSR JARLAXLE BAENRE a profile of select events ]
[ --- WHAT IS FORGOTTEN REALMS? your mom ]
[ --- GIMME SOME STATS, HO that's ho action +7, beeatch ]
[ --- HAT YES, BAGELS NO 2E stats, and his wardrobe of eyesore +3 ]
[ --- WHY DOES ARTEMIS HAVE A GIRL'S NAME, THE DAMN SISSY and other Entreri related things ]
[ --- QUOTE ME SOMETHING read the back of a cereal box ]


QUOTE ME SOMETHING,
"CORMYR DOWN BY THREE POINTS TODAY"


  "Si ing," Jarlaxle read, scratching his head, and he gave a great and dramatic sigh. "This is a gathering hall for those of melancholy?"
--- Servant of the Shard,
reading "Gent eman Briar's Good y P ace of Si ing" on the inn's eroded sign



  "To the Nine Hells with both of ye," Gentleman Briar growled.
  Entreri looked to Jarlaxle, who merely shrugged and said, "I have already been there. Hardly worth a return visit."

--- Servant of the Shard



  "We must all answer for our actions," Cadderly said.
  "But to whom?" the drow countered. "Do you even begin to believe that you can understand the life I have lived, judgemental priest? How might you fare in the darkness of Menzoberranzan, I wonder?"

--- Servant of the Shard



  "I cannot know where I most wish to be because I have not seen all that there is."

--- Servant of the Shard



  "Why?" Entreri asked, moving up beside his unexpected companion.
  "Why?" Jarlaxle echoed.
  "You could have returned with them," the assassin clarified, "though I'd have never gone with you. You chose not to go, not to resume control of your band. Why would you give that up to remain out here, to remain beside me?"
  Jarlaxle thought it over for a few moments. Then, using words that Entreri himself had used before, he said with a laugh, "Perhaps I hate drow more than I hate humans."
  In that instant, Artemis Entreri could have been blown over by a gentle breeze. He didn't even want to know how Jarlaxle had known to say that.

--- Servant of the Shard



[ there is a silhouette with a gigantic hat painted by Entreri's bed and he launches his dagger into it when arriving back at the flat ]

  As always, the dagger struck true, just a few inches above the bed and right in the groin area of the silhouette.
  "Ouch, I suppose," Jarlaxle said.
  "At least," said Entreri.
  "I do find it rather unsettling that you would wish something from that region protruding over your bed."
  "If I awakened under threat and reached for my dagger, and it was anything other than that hanging over my bed, rest asssured I would tear it out."
  "Ouch again, I suppose."
  "At least."

--- Realms of the Dragons: Wickless in the Nether



  "We deciphered the verse correctly, obviously," said Jarlaxle. " 'Wickless in the nether', indeed."
  "And all this time, I thought that remark aimed at your virility," Entreri said.

--- Realms of the Dragons: Wickless in the Nether



[ they bicker about whose fault this situation is, as Ilnezhara, a dragon, looms over them ]

  "A dragon," Entreri remarked. "Another stinking dragon. What game is this with you? You keep placing me in front of stinking dragons! In all my life, I have never seen a wyrm, and now, beside you, I have come to know them far too well."
  "You took me to the first one," Jarlaxle reminded.
  "To get rid of that cursed artifact, yes!" Entreri countered. "You remember, of course. The artifact that had you under a destructive spell? Would I have chosen to go to the lair of a dragon, else?"
  "It does not matter," Jarlaxle argued.
  "Of course it matters," Entreri spat back. "You keep taking me to stinking dragons."
  Ilnezhara's "ahem" shook the ground beneath their feet.

--- Realms of the Dragons: Wickless in the Nether





(Notice my great powers of lazy in typing up quotes from other books, because Servant of the Shard and Realms of the Dragons. This shall be remedied in time, especially since I'm quite fond of The Spine of the World, HA HA. Artemis sulking. I mean, it wins at life.)